I'm Not Saying Goodbye
by taylorcullenforever
Summary: *OFFICIAL Sequel to He Left...* Bella and Edward finally have everything they've ever wanted. But as their children grow up and Bella and Edward live out their lives together they figure out that sometimes you just can't have everything you want. R
1. Evening

**OFFICIAL HE LEFT, I'M PREGNANT SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!**

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1

**I'm Not Saying Goodbye**

**Chapter One:**

**Evening**

There was a faint beating, matching the pulse beneath the skin of my neck. I focused on the endless beating, holding onto it.

There was a patch of yellow in front of my closed eyelids, disrupting for the most part, and I stretched out my fingers, afraid to move anything else in case I was sore in places.

The sheets were cool and unwrinkled under my searching fingers. I noted that they were kind of rough, like they'd been used for more than a decade. Far away there was the sound of feet tapping, the sound of liquid traveling down something too. I took in a deep breath, wondering, if I lay still enough, I'd be able to get a few more hours of rest.

_I was still so very tired._

There was a banging to my left, my head almost twisted over to the sound. I bit down on my tongue, making myself stay exactly as I was. It wasn't that I didn't want to wake up; I didn't want to disturb the quiet around me. My gut told me to keep it to myself that I was awake. My feet were burning up; my toes slippery with sweat but that didn't exactly matter.

_Wait, I thought. _

Fluttering, my eyes almost opened. I was supposedly a fully vampire, right? How could I be sweating if I was a vampire?

I didn't feel right either. Something was off.

My mind was spinning now, worries suffocating. Questions bubbled up in my throat like acid. I inhaled through my nose, thinking of happy times. It took a minute or two before I'd completely calmed down. The beeping next to me becoming an even monotone.

Suddenly there were two whispered voices, both saying things I couldn't make out. Nevertheless I could make out Edward's hushed velvety voice, washing over me like thick smoke. I smiled lightly, shutting my eyes tighter in hopes I'd fall asleep.

"She's doing just fine. I promise." Edward said, a little louder than before. I suspected he was taking to a nurse, if not then Carlisle—he would not need reassuring though. The door opened and closed, squealing as the hinges protested, andthere was a surge of silence for a second, my ears still throbbing from the awful sound the door had made.

Edward's feet picked up, thumping across the linoleum. Coming closer to me.

My heart picked up, the beeping increasing as well. Edward chuckled, his hand slipping into mine. I opened my eyes finally; the bright light more than I could take. I shielded my eyes with one hand, noticing that the over had an IV attached to it. I gazed up, finding a red bag hanging above my head. I blinked once, sighing, then turned to Edward. He squeezed my hand, his thumb running over my forefinger.

His touch was still cold.

I stared at our intertwined hands, my other hand crawling from my side. I laid my hand on his arm, tracing an imaginary vein just to be touching him. Even though I'd only been asleep for what I assumed to be a few days I'd still missed him. And he'd been with me through everything. I missed him right now.

"Hi," I whispered, closing my eyes for a second. My lashes stuck together, my vision blurry from all the eye buggers I'd collected while sleeping. Edward's hand left mine, reaching up to caress my face imperceptibly. Surely committing everything to memory all over again.

"Hello Bella," he beamed at me, the light from the ceiling reflecting off his teeth in patches. He sat down beside me, never looking away. I grabbed a tissue from a box on the table beside me, rubbing my face hard. I was desperate need of a shower. One thing was clear; when I got him I'd spend a good hour with my toothbrush.

I started to sit up, arms sliding toward my body, as they got ready to support me. Through openings in the blanket, cool air reached my legs and feet. My toes moving in satisfaction. I was surprised I hadn't sweated bullets lying here for so long.

I was wearing a thin, hospital gown that barely covered me up. I felt only slightly sore, my legs aching as I writhed around. Edward instantly appeared concerned. His hands shot out, one holding down my legs. The other softly shoving my chest down. I pouted but complied; lying back down as his hands followed my body.

"Let's take it easy, please." Edward said, bending down to kiss my forehead. I'd missed this too, the sweet, tendergesturesthat he gave to me.

Okay, I was being seriouslychildish. I had seen him barely two days ago, yet here I was already thinking about him as if he'd been done for years. He had been gone for a while not too long ago, I remembered.

Don't think about that, told myself, **s**haking my head quietly.

"Are you okay?" He asked, watching me as I nodded. I used my blotchy hands to push back the hair hanging in my hair. Edward sat so close to me, staring at my lips for a brief moment.

In my desperate need for him, I let my fingers travel over his chest. The feeling of excitement spewing in my stomach. I bonded my fingers to the cuff of his shirt. He stared at me questioningly, his brows furrowing. Leisurely, I yanked him down to me. Forcing him to crawl into bed with me.

"Hold on a sec," he laughed, taking off his shoes as he realized what I wanted.

I draped my arms around his neck as he lifted me into his arms, picking me up. He straightened out the tangled sheets, propping up pillows the exact way he wanted them.

Edward moved in swift movement, pressing his lips to my head every five seconds. When he'd gotten the bed situated the way he wanted, he placed me down on the pillows.

I turned over, reclining on my side so that I could see out of the lonely, small window. Edward climbed into bed, getting comfortable. The sun was setting, the orange and pink colors glazing over the soft pallet of baby blue.

_Baby_ blue.

Wondering tears pooled in my eyes as I thought about my babies. Our babies. The miraculous gifts that Edward and I had made together. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me, his chest melting into my back as he pressed me further against him. The coolness of him felt blissful, such difference after having been wrapped up in a cocoon. He nuzzled into my neck, his hands rubbing over my stretched out stomach.

There were sure to be stretch marks the next time I gazed in the mirror.

"How are _you_?" I asked, throwing his question back at him. His breath slithered over my neck like a silk ribbon brushing across the same patch of skin. I felt for his hands under the blanket, linking my fingers through his. I squashed him closer to me—as close as he could get—, his arms swathed around my waist.

"I'm doing just fine." He whispered to me, kissing my cheek lightly. I grinned like a fool. Silence fell between us, thin and comfortable.

A needed silence that only we could muster without it becoming awkward.

A bird passed by the window; its red feathers ruffling in the wind. Secretly, right then I longed to be outside. To be able to stand in the breeze with my hair flying everywhere. Strands knotting together while others planted themselves in my mouth.

I wanted to take Alex and Elizabeth out there, to bask them in the sun. To show them the whole world and everything it held.

My mind wondered all over the place, too distracted to hear the silent shuffled of a new pair of feet. The sun was setting now, the once baby blue sky now an electrifying sapphire.

I turned myself over, flipping onto my other side so that I could see Edward's face. He was staring right at me, eyes soft and loving. I brought my hand up to his cheek, my fingers tracing over his nose with such tenderness to him my touches surely felt like a feather.

He closed his eyes, leaning closer to me. I placed one lonely kiss on his nose, pulling back as my fingers now traced the outline of his closed eyelids. They were so beautiful. He, himself, was so beautiful.

More beautiful than heaven itself.

He pushed me flat on my back, towering above me as he kissed my shoulder. His hands trailing down my sides.

I laughed out, watching him kiss my upper arm, running his lips over every crevice. He gazed heavily at me, eyes smoggy. He straightened out my arm, his fingers outlining the bend of my elbow. He kissed the spot, over and over. Worshipping my elbow it seemed. I giggled, yanking away.

"That tickles." I told him, leaning forward to attach my mouth to his.

Edward lay down this time, legs stretched out completely. As I titter on the edge of the bed, I stare at my own personal Adonis.

His hair fanning out across the pillow, a few stray strands sticking up in disarray. I scoot closer to him, burrowing myself into his side. Edward's hands massage my lower back, fingers rubbing circles in smooth, gentle patterns.

As I kissed his shoulder through his shirt, someone laughed. I hiccuppedsuddenly**,** which was really meant to come out as a gasp and I soared a good foot in the air.

The IV in my hand tugged hard, pain shooting up my arm.

"God Alice!" I scolded, the beeping from the heart monitor going a thousand beats per second.

She gracefully dances over to us, kissing both Edward and I on the cheek. Rosalie stands beside her, all smiles. With Edward's help, I sat up.

Lifting my index finger, I beckon Rose over to me. She leaps over to us, eyes wondering around like she's not quite sure what we're doing. I dragged her to me, closing the gap between us. Her arms hang uneasily around my shoulders, my arms instead squeezing with all my might. She chuckled into my hair, returning the hug finally. One of her hands stroking my hair.

"I'm glad you're awake." She says, returning to Alice's side.

"We'd thought you'd gone into a coma! You slept for an entire two days." Alice commented, hitting me playfully on the arm. The hit was harder than most, ache lingering under the skin. Ouch. Edward swiftly gathered me up in his arms, sliding off the bed, before placing me back down.

My heart sank at the space between us.

"How are they?" I asked, my hands clasped in my lap. Alice jumped up and down, clapping her hands in excitement. Rose just beamed at me, one hand wrapped around Alice's tiny wrist.

"They're perfect! Doing just fine. You can see them if you want." Alice offered, nodding before I'd even said anything. She and Rose darted out the door, snickering about something on their way out. Edward titled my chin up, kissing me.

"You did so good." I knew he was talking about the delivery. I had a flashback of when I'd screamed at him to go away. This sent out a roar of mental laughter that I kept all inside. I kissed Edward again, studying him as he pulled a chair up to the side of my bed.

Both Alice and Rose bounded through the doors, holding my two angels in their arms. Elizabeth was staring around the room while Alex had his eyes locked on Alice's face. Never once looking away. Edward took Alex, rocking him in his arms as he kissed his shiny new forehead.

"Hey little man," Edward murmuredsoftly, holding Alex close to him. Rose looked to be somewhere in heaven, Elizabeth squirming around in her arms.

They were so interactive already. They were human but little things like their involvement already made me think there were more than just human. Rosalie sat on the edge of my bed, passing Elizabeth to me. I swooped her up in my arms, holding her close like Edward had. She was so very warm, her skin a light pink, andI could feel her tiny heartbeat through her skin, strong and sure. Relieving in more ways than one.

"Where is everybody else?" I asked, kissing one of Elizabeth's toes. Before turning to the angel in my arms, "Hey there. My little one, you're so beautiful. Just like your daddy." She gurgled at me, eyes sparkling with life.

"They were at home setting up any last minute things," Alice started.

"They should be here any minute now." Rose cut in, running the back of her index finger over Elizabeth's chest. Just then Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Lucy, and Jake came rushing through the door. Shouting things one after the other in no particular order.

"Where is she?"

"You should be Lizzie, she's look just like Edwar—"

"She looks great!"

"I haven't seen them!"

"Where are they?"

"What did Edward sa—"

"Oh Bella!"

"Congratulations."

"Congrats, Mommy."

"Oh look at them!"

The words kept pouring out and I laughed, happiness pungent from everyone around me. Lucy pushed her way through everyone, her eyes landing on the bundle in my arms. She gasped and placed her hand over her mouth. Her engagement ring sparkling in the light. Carlisle, Jasper, and Rose were all over Edward. Taking turns holding Alex. Jake kissed me on the cheek, hand plastered to my back. The heat caving in.

As I watched everyone I loved basked in such happiness.... I knew that this was only the beginning of the rest of our lives.

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Big Difference already huh?

I'm hoping this chapter was a much HAPPIER version of the other one.

Which i'm sure it is.

I've already written the second chapter but it will not be up until my beta (Oxygen. and .Cucumber) gets it back to me edited.

Please review and let me know what you think of it so far.

-taylorcullenforever

And once again THANKS to my amazing beta Oxygen. and .Cucumber--she makes all my chapters shine!


	2. Extraordinary

**Disclaimer: (oops, i'd forgotten about these) I don't own Twilight. If i did you'd definitly know that by now. :) **do i really need to write another disclaimer? I think one is enough...**

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2

**I'm Not Saying Goodbye**

**Chapter Two:**

**Extraordinary**

Alex's little feet kicked out, meeting nothing but empty space filled with air. My thumb endlessly ran over his plump leg. Memorizing every fold of baby fat he had. I could just eat him up—haha no pun intended. Edward was off with Elizabeth somewhere while everyone else was out getting extra stuff. What else could we need? We'd gotten everything the baby books said to get, was there possibly anything else? If there was Alice would find it. No doubt about that.

I'd been sleeping on and off the entire day, waking to eat or take a needed visit to the restroom. Alex was only with me because I'd asked for him to stay with me, plus I could tell Edward wanted to have some bonding time with Elizabeth. He was absolutely carried away with her, not that he wasn't carried away with Alex too. I took in a deep breath and stretched, feet pointing down as my muscles tensed. I was being released early tomorrow morning from what Carlisle had told me. Only a few more hours till we could all go home. Home sounded so nice after being stuck in bed for a more than a few days.

Alex gurgled loudly, bringing a coiled fist to his mouth. His hand slowly rolled itself around in his mouth, collecting gallons of saliva. I kissed his fuzzy head, breathing in his scent that was sweeter than anything. Freesia and the smell of Edward combined. It made my head spin twice as fast as when Edward unleashed his full scent on me. I was already swept away with Alex.

I sat up fully, butt sliding along the warm sheets. The white walls gave me a slight headache but other than that I was thankful for having been put in such a clam room. I had badly needed a dose of calm. Wrapping my hands gingerly yet fully around Alex, I turned him around. Letting him curl up against my chest. He yawned widely, more than cuter or adorable. Simply stunning. His brown orbs fell into mine, latching onto my face. He blinked a few times, eye traveling with my fingers as I ran them over his puffy cheeks.

"Welcome to Motherhood, Mommy." Lucy said, bringing my attention to her. She sat in one of the hard chairs in the corner of the room. Her purse sitting in her lap as she reclined. Her eyes were watching her steadily. I smiled and beckoned her over. Nodding my head as she sat on the edge of my bed. I had missed her easiness. She never had a need to fill the silence with endless words or babbling.

"Thanks. I haven't seen you in a while." I joked, pulling her in for a hug. She kissed my cheek, turning to tug on one of Alex's feet. His head rolled back and I panicked, making sure to keep my hand behind his head. Lucy just stared at him, flattered by this small baby. Alex's eyes came to a close, face pinching together. He started crying, great sobs that forced out hiccups in the making. Lucy stared at me in shock as to what to do.

I placed him on my shoulder, his head falling into the curve of my neck. I bounced him tightly, patting his back soothingly. He wouldn't stop crying and I had no clue as to what I was supposed to do with him. Good God, someone help me. There was a knocking at the door, echoing through the room despite Alex's persistent cries. I called out to them to come in, whispering pleads to Alex for him to calm down. Was he hungry? Did he need a diaper change? What!?

Lucy placed her hand on my shoulder reassuringly as the Cullens came in. They stared at me lovingly, while Alex jostled me around with his shaking body. I wished they'd come and help me already instead of staring—which was rude—at us like we were a sappy love scene out of a movie. Edward came over to me, swiping Alex from my arms. I opened my mouth to protest; deeply upset he'd taken him from me. In exchanged he handed an exploring Elizabeth to me.

She curled her two fists close to her chest, sucking on the skin right above her thumb. Her wide eyes skimmed over everything. I let her do as she pleased, keeping a close watch on her as I also watched Edward and Alex. Edward kissed and rocked and shushed but Alex kept crying. His little face was an upsetting shade of red, tears streaming from his eyes. I was sure his lungs would collapse if he kept up the screaming—or that what his crying sounded like.

"He's hungry." Jasper said, eyeing the Edward and me. This was going to be harder than I thought. Elizabeth fell asleep in my arms. I opened my mouth just as Carlisle stopped me, face serious.

"You can breast feed." He offered, glancing toward Alex. My cheeks puffed out with held in oxygen. I blew out, thinking over what he'd said. I placed a hand on my chest, noticing that I was more than just sore. My breasts felt heavy and achy, telling me, just as Carlisle had, that I was capable of breast-feeding.

I nodded at Edward. He kissed my head softly; as everyone told me they'd be in the hallway waiting for when I was done. Once they had left, I sucked in a breath still not sure about the whole breast-feeding thing. I knew how it went. Put the baby to your boob, make sure he or she latches on, and then it just flows from there. But, did I really want to do that? Alex's crying brought me back to real life and I knew my decision right then.

"Give him to me," I told Edward, taking Alex from him while passing a knocked out Elizabeth to him. She clung to him like super glue. I slide my baggy hospital gown off my shoulder. It took a bit and I had to help but after a few seconds Alex was feeding. No longer crying.

Edward watched with serious interest and I blushed slightly, the heat rising to my face. I kept my eyes on Alex the whole time watching him suckle. I leaned back fully, realizing that I was actually doing this. I was breast-feeding my own child, I couldn't have been more proud. I'd never forget this moment. I'd never been more proud in my entire. At one point Alex bit down on my nipple causing a light shriek from me. My nipple was too sore for any of that. No one told me how sore this would be. Alex kept at it for a while, and then started dozing off.

Edward instructed me on how to break off the suction. I slipped my finger into the side of Alex's mouth, right between the gums. I then turned my finger a quarter turn to break off the suction. Alex let go, so I laid him on my shoulder on the cloth I'd already laid out. I patted and rubbed his back till he burped.

"Keep him upright for the next ten to fifteen minutes. Just to make sure the milk stays down." Edward told me. I nodded, rocking us back and forth. My baby. My baby. I still couldn't fully believe it.

"How do you know that?" I asked, curious. Edward smiled.

"I read a few daddy-preparing baby books." I stared at him, serious for once. His eyes sparkled and he looked happier than I'd ever really seen him.

"Come here." I demanded. When he did I kissed him on the mouth. He'd read the baby books.

Edward put Elizabeth in a clear crib—more like a mini version of a crib. I stroked her foot since she was in my reach. Edward took Alex from me who was now passed out, placing him in another crib right beside Lizzie.

I felt like Alex—exhausted.

When everyone was back in the room, Carlisle was the first one to start talking.

"You are the most marvelous creature I've ever met." He stated, smiling at me with such adoration that I was forced to smile back. Edward didn't make any side comments, nodding along with everyone else.

"Why is that?" I asked, completely oblivious as to what was so great about me. I'd done nothing special that was groundbreaking nor anything so amazing it would became a study Carlisle would lead.

"You're _human_." I chocked on my own saliva, slamming my hand down on my chest to control my coughing fit. Rosalie busted out laughing, elbowing Edward in the ribs. He slapped her elbow away.

"W-w-what?" I stuttered. I was so not falling for their joke. I sat there staring at them with such bewilderment it probably seemed to them that I was looking at the second head they'd just grown. I was waiting for them to break out in a coordinated dance, screaming APRIL FOOLS. Even though it wasn't April fools days. When that didn't happen, I felt my body with my hands.

"You are in fact human." Carlisle reassured me. I shook my head, but he kept talking. "We all first noticed this when you fell asleep in the delivery room. Ion the delivery room you'd stopped crying completely. Or you would have been in tears the entire time." I realized he was right. "That's when we came to the conclusion that you'd finally turned full vampire. Then in your sleep you continued changing. At one point—I don't think you were aware—but you started crying real tears. Water not venom. Your skin returned to your natural pale instead of our pale at which you'd picked up from the change during the pregnancy. Then your boobs at grown twice the size in about a good day. I'd examined you and found that you indeed were full of milk. Enabling you to breast-feed."

Everyone was smiling at me and I couldn't find the strength to smile back. I was just to—shocked. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"It's amazing. I also went ahead and did blood tests while you were asleep. You have no traces of venom in you. Just your own blood."

"How can that be though?" I asked.

"That's the thing." Carlisle said, regretfully. "We have no clue how you've changed so much during the nine months of pregnancy. Not only are you human but you will never age. This—you being human but also immortal and having changed from vampire into human—is the last thing any of us expected."

Thoughts threatened to overflow, to drown me. Alice talked animatedly to Emmett and Rose, while Esme, Jasper, and Carlisle all talked together. I realized Lucy was nowhere to be found.

Edward sauntered over to me, holding my face in his cold hands.

_Cold hands_.

"My Bella. My darling Bella." I'd given Edward what he'd always wished. His wish for me was to be and stay human. My wish was to be with him for all eternity no matter what the cost. We'd both gotten what we'd always wished for.

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**Hey Everyone,**

**This chapter was a honor to write, seeing as I've given Bella the gift of being fully alive again.**

**Plus, i'd promised Edward that I'd give him his human Bella back.**

**So what do you think about everything? I've been adding in Lucy because--i'm going to be honest--i'd completey forgotten about her in the other story. So there will be lots of her.**

**REVIEW please. More reviews equals fluffier chapters! :)**

**SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER HUGE THANKS to my beta-- R.M.J Lennixx. She is awesome--nuf said.**

**Thanks everyone**

**-taylorcullenforever**


	3. Home Sweet Home

3

**I'm Not Saying Goodbye**

**Chapter Three:**

**Home Sweet Home**

Home bound. I was tucked into Edward's car, Alice sitting in the back seat with Lizzie and Alex. Though I'd tried to get into the backseat before Alice or Rose could, Alice had still beaten me to it. I didn't deny her the seat though, I'd get to be with my angels soon enough. Both Alex and Elizabeth were sleeping in their car seats their heads slumped downward. I turned around for the hundredth time to glance at them. They hadn't moved. Alice caught my eye, chuckling at my constant need to check on them. The road spread out beneath us, covered with leaves and crumpled flowers. I had missed the forest. I had missed its damp ground that stuck to the bottom of my shoe. But I especially missed the long, lush grass that curled around my toes as I walked up to the Cullens'—our—house.

Light sprinkled down onto us through the openings in the trees. I knew we were almost there, without even having to be told. My hand seeked out Edward's. When I felt his cool skin brush against mine, I slipped my hand into his in need of his touch. Smiling, I kissed his knuckles.

"Are you excited to be home?" Alice spoke up, scooting to the edge of her seat so that she could rest her chin upon my seat. She ran her fingers through my untidy hair absentmindedly. I closed my eyes as her fingers massaged my scalp happily.

"I am. It's nice to be back." I replied, pulling away from Alice to twist around in my seat. As I looked at my angels again, Elizabeth twitched slightly. The move—even if slight—sent a wave of relief over me. I grinned, sitting back straight as I looked out my window. Alice's fingers returned massaging. Edward took a long curvy turn, bringing us closer to home. I could see that he was excited, it was written all over his face. I sighed contently. The white house came into view, glowing it seemed. Maybe it was just the light bouncing off the trees that was doing that. It took a lot of restraint to keep from bouncing in my seat.

I'd never realized how much I loved being here.

Edward parked the car, already opening my door for me. I yanked off my shoes, grabbing them in my hands. My toes wriggled around as I stepped out, the ground smashing under my weight. Alice was already getting Alex out, unbuckling him as he yawned, his fists coming up to his face. She handed him over to me and I left Edward to get Lizzie. The wind was blowing steadily, sprinkling across my skin like sea spray. I smiled so hard that I was sure my lips would crack with the pressure. Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose had their eyes trained on me, watching my every moments.

I pressed my toes further into the ground, mentally reminding myself to put on some slippers before walking across the clean carpet inside. The house was still as beautiful as it'd been the last time I'd really looked at it—if not more beautiful. I started toward the door just as Alex stirred in my arms, becoming still a second later with what seemed to be a sigh. As I climbed the porch everyone joined behind me, Edward's hand steady on my back. I slipped on a pair of shoes I'd left out on the porch so that the mud between my toes wouldn't get on anything.

I decided to go ahead and put Alex to bed in his room, seeing as I'd fed them recently. They'd been hungry in a few hours but that was fine. I felt a little unsteady as I climbed the stairs, going slower than I would on most days. My finger ran over Alex's plump foot, my mouth pressing against his head in a kiss. I was so in love with him—and Elizabeth.

Once they were in their cribs, I paced back and forth between them. Unable to keep my eyes off them for a second. I kept feeling they were going to stop breathing the minute I left them alone. I'd thought Edward had left the room until he came up behind me, his arms holding me still so that I couldn't move. He kissed my shoulder, tilting us back and forth in a twisted dance. I laughed then spun to face him.

"They're not going to disappear," he said before I tried to keep him to let me go. I sulked and pouted, my bottom lip jutting out in protest. He kissed me softly, pulling me close. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling. His hands ran over the small of my back, holding me tight.

"Edward?" I asked, voice small.

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?" I asked, because at the moment I don't know exactly how to feel. I was all over the place. I'd never thought I'd get to live this life with Edward. I never thought that we'd get married and have kids! Or that I'd spend some time half-vampire and half-human. Or that I would eventually turn back into a human. It was just so much to swallow. I was still freaking out from the realization that I had two kids.

"I am happy. Very happy." His lips grazed my ear lobe and I shivered feeling like the shy girl I'd been when I'd met Edward. Shivering at the very sight of him. But I was still that Bella. Even if I'd changed and had become a mommy. I think I'm still the girl who doubts herself. Maybe not. But I know she hasn't completely left yet.

"Are you happy, Bella?" Edward asked, his voice tight and serious. His hands wraped around my arms, standing me back so that we're staring at each other. His lips formed a tight line, his golden eyes swimming with such intensity that I felt like flinching away from him.

"I am."

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"

"I'm just emotional okay!? Having kids messes with your emotions." I sniffled, freaking out for no apparent reasons. Maybe having the kids had messed with my emotions. Really, I wanted to scream, cry, and jump for joy all at the same time. I'm sure Jasper is going crazy down there from all my emotions. Poor Jasper.

"Okay, okay." Edward mumbled, staring at me obviously not sure how to handle this. I hiccupped on air, finally controlling myself. Now I felt extremely happy. I stumbled over to Edward, colliding into him as my arms draped around his center. He cackled at me, surprised at how moody I was. To be honest, I was freaking myself out.

"I can't believe we have kids." I said.

"Me either. But we have two beautiful kids. And they're truly amazing." Edward told me, kissing my head comfortingly. I nodded solemnly.

"I'm just freaking out. Sorry."

"No problem. No problem." Edward assured me, studying me as I took my rightful place beside Elizabeth and Alex's cribs. Peeking over the side to search for any movement at all. Edward stood beside me for a while before demanding that I needed to eat. He moved gracefully down the stairs while I found out that I'd become even clumsier than before. Tittering on a step, I flung my arms in the air to catch my balance before tripping for no reason. So Edward felt it was his duty to escort me, all the way down.

Smiling like a loon, I watched Edward put together a nice meal. The quantity was definitely for more than one person but he didn't seem to care. He cooked a bake potato, cooked an entire chicken, and then whipped up some broccoli and carrots. When it was all done he sat it down in front of me, smiling slightly. I grabbed a fork and dug in, my stomach growling at me for not having eaten sooner.

Rose came into the kitchen, arms stretched behind her back in a way that made me think she wanted something. She eyed Edward dubiously; I'm sure talking to him in his head. How nice. I was being left out of the conversation. I eyed her in a way that I was certain was funny, while taking another crispy bite of chicken. Finally Rose's eyes ran over me, landing on my face. She laughed out, the sound sharp with happiness.

This caused me to laugh and soon I was choking to death. Edward thumped me hard on the back, helping me regain my posture. I rolled my eyes at myself for being so human. It was going to take awhile to get used to being human again. How weird.

"Bella," Rose said. "Doyoumindifigoseethekids?" Her voice was like a long high-pitched monotone, her words blurring together at the edges. Huh? If she was speaking some kind of foreign language, then I needed to be enrolled in some language classes.

"Can you say that again?" I asked, laughing.

"Can I go see—" I cut her off.

"Rose, do you have to ask?" I asked her, looking at her knowingly. "No." I answered for her. "Go ahead. I don't mind at all. Stay there all day if you want. Just know that you don't have to ask. I understand," And I did understand. She wanted to go spend time with my babies. She wanted kids and she'd never be able to have them. So, me being the one to have kids must be hard on her. She was allowed all the time in the world with my kids, if only that could make up for what she can't have.

Rose hugged me tightly before making her way to the babies' room.

"Come on," Edward said, picking me up. I let my head hang back as he took me into his room. Everything looked so different upside down. Before I knew it, I was being placed down onto Edward's bed. I squealed slightly then pulled Edward down on top of me. He adjusted himself quickly, turning us over. I snuggled down under the covers, waiting as Edward glued us together.

"Get some sleep. You need it." I nodded obediently, kissing him on the nose. His lips found mine—one, sweet kiss.

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Wow, two chapters up in one day. Now this doesn't mean you can review on one then not review the other too!! ;)

This was another FLUFFY chapter. Haha.

Hope you liked it!

REVIEW PLEASE!! Let me know which sequel you like better.

Another huge thanks to my more than amazing beta R.M.J Lennixx.

-taylorcullenforever

*******I will be continueing the other sequel. So if you liked Forsaking All I've Fallen For keep reading! I should be updating that story soon*******


	4. La la Lu

**_READ!: Okay there is a song at the end of the chapter that Bella sings--not giving too much away._**

**_But when you get there go to this link and PLEASE listen to the song. Now this version is much faster than the version Bella sings which is slow and so very, very sweet._**

**_Link:_**

http://w w w . p l a y l i s t .com/searchbeta/tracks#La%20La%20lu-%20peggy%20lee _**(get rid of the spaces)**_

**_Thanks!!!!_**

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4

**I'm Not Saying Goodbye**

**Chapter Four:**

**La la Lu**

The kitchen was buzzing with life as I moved around it, trying to make breakfast. It was almost nine and even though I'd slept in, I was exhausted. Jake and Lucy sat at the kitchen counter watching me with amused smiles on their faces. The bacon was sizzling in the pan and popping grease in my face as I checked them to see if they were ready. They weren't. Elizabeth held onto my chest while she hung from my shoulders in a baby sling. I held her away from the food as I stirred the hash browns.

"Bella, I can do that for you," Edward cut in, coming around to stand behind me.

"No, I want to do this." He lifted up my hair, bundling it in his hands while he kissed the back of my neck. The feeling boosting my energy. Smiling, I turned around to kiss him. His lips were sweet with his taste. He looked down at Elizabeth who was staring at him.

"My little angel. How are you today?" he asked, lifting her away from me. I turned back to the food quickly, hiding my enraged anger. I bit my lip forcefully to keep from shouting out that she was mine. I wanted to snatch Elizabeth back, to hold her close to me and never let go. She was mine and that was true. But she was also Edward's, meaning I shouldn't be getting mad, but I am. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward talk to Elizabeth, fingers running along her belly.

I fumbled to get the food onto the plates, trying my best not to spill anything. Just as I'd gotten the last plate done someone tapped me on the shoulder. Spinning around, I found myself face to face with Lucy. She smiled sweetly at me.

"Here," she said, her voice was understanding. In her arms laid a half-asleep Alex. He stared up at me, on hand reaching out toward me. I placed my index finger in his warm palm, letting him wrap his fingers closed around it. This right here brought a rush of tears to my eyes. I blinked them back, as Lucy dropped him lightly into my arms. I cradled his little body in my arms, kissing his head over and over. I could kiss him for days and never tire. Lucy took the steaming plates. She set them on the stable.

Once I'd cleaned up the pans and dishes I'd used, I sat down across from Jake who stared at me like there was no tomorrow.

"So," I started as Alex reached out toward the plate of greasy food. "I don't think you'd like that very much, precious," I cooed at him. Alex gazed up at me with love. I positioned him so that his bottom was resting on my leg. He looked around idly, before letting his head slump against my lower stomach.

"How's life?" Jake asked. I'm pretty sure none of us knew what to talk about or say in the least. Yet Jake was at least trying to start a conversation. I chewed on a bite of crispy bacon. It had turned out perfect.

"A bit rough," I told him honestly. I was being modest though. It'd been two weeks since I had come home from the hospital. Lizzie and Alex had been sleeping mostly, staying in their cribs during the day. Then crying for us at night. Sure I had tons of help but I'd told everyone that I wanted to do as much as possible by myself. Except Rose and Edward were welcome to budge in at any time. Which meant that, even though Edward wasn't asleep, I was the one to wake up to tend to them at night. To add to that I'd been breast-feeding like crazy. One boob was actually bigger than the other. I'm hoping that my breasts will return to normal one day.

I had been right, too. I did have stretch marks. They were not the greatest thing in the world. Edward didn't seem to mind them at all. I sure did, which is why I spent half my time lathering myself with this coco butter stuff.

Lucy laughed at my comment, half choking on her bite of hash brown. Jake smiled encouragingly. "But so great." I finished, smiling to myself.

"So when is the date?" I asked them, directing the attention away from myself. Lucy's eyebrows rose. For some reason both of us turned to stare at Jake. He twiddled his thumbs around, whistling. I guess we ate at his patience. His head snapped around to us, his hands springing up into the air. He looked and acted like we were about to shoot him.

"Why are you looking at _me_?" He asked. This time it was my turn to laugh till I choking on my food. Lucy scooted close to him, placing her hand in his. She kissed him three times, each a light peck. They were so adorable together. Though, I could see it in Jake's eyes that he still had a thing for me. It was evident. Maybe not to Lucy but it defiantly was to me.

"We're not sure about the date just yet. But probably somewhere in the next three to six months." I nodded my head as Alex played with the hairs on my arms.

"I'm so happy for you two!" I exclaimed, beaming with joy. I was attending their wedding no matter what. I was ecstatic that Jake had finally found _someone_.

"Thank you," Lucy said. "Bella?" I was in the middle of taking a bite of egg.

"Yes?"

"Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Of course!" I almost screamed, laughing. I got up—making sure to hold onto Alex—and hugged her tightly. She cackled.

"Do you have any plans for your wedding, yet?" I asked, realizing I shouldn't have asked that. For Lucy started talking. She didn't stop till hours later.

(((((((((((((((

I escorted Lucy and Jake to the door. Lucy thanked me for the breakfast. Complimenting me on how good it was. I hugged her close, promising to see her soon. When she went out to get in the car, Jake stayed. He hooked his fingers into the slits of his pockets, staring at the ground. His hair falling across his forehead so that I couldn't see his face. I took a step forward, feet shuffling across the floor. Jake didn't move. I placed my hand on his arm, loving the feel of the hairs on his arms. They were blonde. They were so soft.

I took a few last fleeting steps before I was standing right in front of him. I put my palm to his cheek, caressing. His eyes fluttered up to mine. He looked so guilty. I wrapped his arms around my waist, smashing me to him. I draped my arms around his neck, knowing that us tight together like this would never truly be enough in a way.

"I still love you," He murmured into my hair. I felt like crying a river.

"I know," Except I didn't. I had made myself refuse to believe he truly loved him. Only now did I fully know.

"I still want you." His husky voice shook me to the core.

"You're with Lucy," I protested.

"She could never compare to you."

"Love her, not me."

"I don't know how to do that." He confessed.

"Are you saying you don't love her?"

"No. I do lover her, it's just . . ."

"What?" I whispered, my tone utterly bittersweet.

"Even though I've imprinted on Lucy, I still love you so much more."

"Jake," I said, almost a pleading.

"Bella," His voice strained with want.

"How is that possible? Shouldn't you love Lucy more?"

"I don't know. I just know that deep down; I love you more than anything. Even Lucy."

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't love me."

"But I do."

"I know." I mumbled, feeling the warmth from his body spreading like wild fire. I pulled back, daring to look into his eyes. "You should go," I leaned to the left so that I could see Lucy. She was waiting, her face pinched together. He nodded, and then left without a single glance. I stood there and watched them drive away.

Sighing I walked down the hall. Rosalie was sitting on the couch in the front room. She was bouncing Alex in her arms. I'm sure Edward or Alice had Elizabeth. I smiled, plopping down next to her. I leaned against her shoulder, closing my heavy eyelids.

"What's it like for you?" I asked, opening my eyes to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"What is it like holding a baby for you?"

"How do I feel?"

"Yeah,"

"Extremely happy. _Extremely hopeful_."

(((((((((((((((((

Sitting in the rocking chair, I gazed out the window in awe. Everything seemed to glow along with the sunset. Elizabeth squirmed in my arms, her green eyes so beautiful. I rocked us back and forth, nothing but sweet thoughts on my mind. I started humming a tune, earning a curious glance from Lizzie. A song slithered through my mind, the words connecting, as if I'd known the song my whole life. Without a second thought, I started singing to her.

"La La Lu,

La la Lu,

Oh my little star sweeper,

I'll sweep the stars up for you,

La la Lu,

La la Lu,

Little soft fluffy sleeper,

Here comes a pink cloud for you,

La la Lu,

La la Lu,

Little wondering angel,

Fold up your wings,

And close your eyes,

La la Lu,

La la Lu,

And may _love_ be your keeper,

La la Lu,

La la Lu,

_La . . . la . . .lu_."

* * *

_I'd personally like to thank ilovecullen for saying that i'm absolutly her favorite author in the world! It means so much so this chapter is for you darling!_

_And I'd like to thank SarahDakota for her love of my original sequel. I'm so grateful. :)_

I've never enjoyed writing a chapter as much as i enjoyed writing this one. I had to include that Bella mommy moment because i couldn't help myself.

The song she sings is from the soundtrack of Lady and The Tramp. I heard it last night and had to include it in this chapter. :)

I really hope you liked this chapter!

Review!! Make me happy! I've got a test--HUGE test--tomorrow so reviews would just make my day!!!!

Thanks everyone

-taylorcullenforever


	5. The Beauty and The Tragedy

**A HUGE ASS THANKS TO MY SEXY BETA--- R.M.J Lennixx. She rox my sox off. ***hehe*****

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5

**I'm Not Saying Goodbye**

**Chapter Five:**

**The Beauty and The Tragedy**

It seemed as if everyone was asleep. That's how quiet it was. The babies were asleep in their room, wrapped up in their blankets. Edward was resting in our room, listening to Debussy while reading a random book I'd picked up from the store the other day. It was ten o'clock but I was retreating to the kitchen for a snack. I'd been more than hungry that past few days, eating anything in sight just to quench my hunger and thirst. It was unusual for sure. Carlisle said it was just from me switching roles so suddenly.

Being half-vampire/half-human one day then complete human the next really messes with your hormones. Opening the refrigerator, I saw the Esme had gone shopping recently even though I'd told her that I was planning on going. She insisted that I needed more sleep. All I did was sleep these days. I pulled out two bottles of Concord grape juice then two packets of pudding. Deciding that was enough to hold me over till breakfast I made my way back to Edward.

He was in the same position I'd left him. His back leaning against the headboards while his legs were spread out. I climbed into bed, taking a good scoop of pudding into my mouth. Not caring, he kissed my lips gently, flipping the page in his book. I wriggled closer to him, ducking my head at one point to curl completely into his left side. He chuckled quietly, kissing my head before burrowing his nose into my hair.

"I missed this," I murmur, closing my eyes. The packet of pudding sits on Edward's chest with my hand still wrapped around it. I feel Edward shift, looking down at me.

"Missed what exactly, Bella?"

"Me being human and you being vampire." I confess, not sure how he will react to his. He takes the pudding and spoon from me, placing it on a napkin lying on the vacant nightstand. His fingers tracing over the skin of my burning cheeks, the feeling like feathers being brushed over me. I laugh lightly, running a hand up and down his chest.

"I missed that too." He tells me. I gaze up at him with fresh tears in my eyes. Not sad tears, happy ones. I lean forward, shifting so that I'm saddling him. I find his lips, covering them with my own. His hands grab my hips, pulling me closer. The kiss deepens in seconds, becoming passionate and lust filled. Not that I mind. I wrap my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his silky hair.

He pulls back too soon, letting me get in gulps of sticky air. My thoughts are everywhere now, fleeting and contorted. His tongue trails up my neck, swirling around my tender flesh deliciously. I realize we never got a honeymoon. Hmm…that will need to be arranged. Swirling my hips in a circle I feel his erection harder from the friction. He groans into my skin, shoving his lips on mine in the next second.

I'm in a state of bliss when he grinds me against him with his hands. I gasp in shock, the heat in-between my legs growing. I want to go farther but I'm not sure if Edward will let me. Sliding my hands down his chest, I grab the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. It falls onto the bed beside us. Edward pulls back from me, looking at my chest. I shouldn't be embarrassed at all but I am, I instantly cross my arms over my chest.

"No," Edward mumbles, removing my arms. He kisses down my chest, paying attention to the swell of boob pushing out from my bra. I buck involuntarily into his cock, grinning as he grunts out. Slipping off his boxers, I'm overly excited about us being intimate once again. My hand brushes over his cock a little too hard and just as he goes to nuzzle my neck he bites down—hard. I yelp out in pain, flinging back on my back.

Pain shoots up my neck, causing me to choke. I roll off the bed on accident while Edward shouts my name.

"Quiet!" I hiss, standing up while I clamp a hand around the bleeding wound. "You'll wake the baby!" I yell back, realizing I'd just gone and yelled too. Alice bursts through the door, while everyone follows behind her. I blush tomato red, covering myself by pulling on one of Edward's shirts from the closet.

"He bit you." Alice shrieks, wrapping a hand around my arm to pull me closer. I take my hand from the wound to see blood smeared all over my palm. I feel extremely queasy now, my head turning into a light fuzzy feeling. I took over at Edward to see him almost dry heaving. He's looking at me, while a hand hovers over the opening of his mouth. It was really his fault. I was the one who started it.

Carlisle comes closer to me, checking the wound. His eyes widen.

"The venom is inside you." Everything is quiet then I burst out laughing, my chest heaving to get enough oxygen. Rosalie looks at me like I've gone crazy while Emmett comes over to pound his fist on my back. I sneeze at the force he's exerting from his hand.

"Oh, Bella!" Esme says, handing me a small hand towel. I look at her questioningly then feel the liquid oozing from my nose. I cough slightly, pressing the cloth to stop the flow. When I pull back the liquid doesn't exactly look like blood.

"It's the venom." Carlisle tells me.

"Oh," I say, smiling. "How nice." I try to lighten the mood but everyone's so uptight. Hello?! Can't they seem I'm totally fine? Jeez. The venom stops coming out after a little bit and oddly enough I'm still human. Carlisle mutters to himself about something while everyone gaps at me in awe. Yeah, yeah. So I survived a venom filled bite from Edward. I'm alive and human. That's all that matters.

"I'm so sorry." Edward says, finally coming over to me. He wraps me in his arms, crushing me to him. I hug him back, kissing his nose in reassurance.

"I'm fine," I say, handing the towel back now that the bleeding has stopped. After a bit of pleading and reassuring everyone leaves so that I can get some rest and Edward can sulk.

"Edward," I coo, wrapping my arms around him in an embrace. He stiffens. "Relax. It was an accident." He doesn't say anything nor does he return the affection. I roll over to my side and sigh, turning off the light. It was just going to be one of those nights were Edward is going to be an ass.

"Goodnight," I say. He doesn't come close to me the rest of the night.

((((((((((((((((((((((

Rolling over my hand clamps around the alarm clock. Oh God, it's three in the morning. I rub my face hard, which will, I'm sure, leave wrinkles. Edward's watching me intently, still not talking or touching. I yawn hard, body shaking as I step into the cold air.

"I can go tend to them, Bella. You need your rest." I wave my hand at him, leaping across the floor. The crying from the babies' room seems to intensify, as I get closer. I open the door and slink in, stumbling over to Elizabeth. Her face in puffy and I can only guess that she needs a diaper change. Alex is still sleeping away in his crib, his fists held close to his face. I pick up Lizzie, soothing her with my voice. I hum her lullaby, hoping that she calms down. She keeps crying until I set her down in the changer, pulling a fresh diaper from the stack. She sniffles a few times, before staring up at me. I kiss her cheeks, wiping her clean several times before fastening the diaper around her waist. By now I'm wide awake, no longer feeling so tired I could fall over. I decide to stay and spend a little bit more time here.

Gathering Lizzie up in my arms, I settle myself down into the rocking chair. I rock her back and forth, facing the large window. The moon's out tonight, big and bright. Lizzie tries her hardest to stay awake but soon her eyes are coming to a close, her hand wrapping tighter around my finger. I lean back fully, closing my eyes too.

* * *

_I'd like to thank SparkingTopazEyes for her review she sent me in a PM for her review button wasnt working. I loved your review!_

So i'm back from my long break away from fanfiction. Finals are coming up in school and i was just hit by a nasty yeast infection--oh yeah. it was pure hell. But here is another chapter that i really enjoyed writing. and Yes, Bella is now immune to any venom from vampires. Which means Edward could bite her at any time, how ever many times he wants, and it would not matter. Pretty cool.

I am deeply sad at the amount of reviews i'm getting for this story. So come on, send me some love

Review = Love.

I really need some lovin.

see yall next chapter.

-taylorcullenforever


	6. Deception

It has been 3 long months since I'd given birth to Elizabeth and Alex. Things around the house were slow, since neither Edward nor I had work to attend. I'd been cleaning constantly, seeing as having children there was poopy diapers along with spit up everywhere. Edward had recently found a group of four vegetarian vampires that have recently moved into the forest. Good Lord only knows where they came from. I'd met with them and they were nice gentlemen. Defiantly raised to be as good as they could be. Edward was taken with them, spending a good amount of time away from home nowadays. It didn't bother me much, no. I had a life of my own going on also.

_Lie to me and tell me everything is all right_

Lucy had been especially dependent on me in the past few months. Calling twice a day for questions concerning her wedding. Since I'd helped Alice somewhat with the planning of my wedding she thought I knew everything. Not. I've been trying to get her to understand that my wedding was the way it was thanks to Alice. She couldn't grasp that concept.

The phone rang shrilly, while Alex cried on my hip. I put down the guest list for Lucy's wedding before sliding over to the phone. Bouncing Alex to get him higher on my hip, my fingers curled around the phone bringing it to my ear. "Hello?" I answered, tone annoyed. I cleared my throat, hoping to come off a little bit nicer. Just caring for a child while trying to do your best friend's guest list plus trying to get to the phone on time did not make me the happiest Mom out there.

_Lie to me and tell me that you'll stay here tonight_

"Bella!?" It was Lucy. I sighed before taking the phone with me. I sauntered over to the couch before plopping down. Alex had calmed a bit, sticking a hand in his mouth while slapping my thigh lightly. I leaned in to kiss the skin behind his ear.

"Yes?" I asked, hoping she didn't want me to go out and pick up her dress. I did love her like a sister but my God, she really needed to get herself together. Not everyone could stop what he or she was doing just to wait on her hand and foot.

"Did I leave the guest list with you! I can't find it and Jake is about to shit a brick." This caused me to laugh. Of course Lucy would have a lapse in her memory and forget she did in fact leave it with me.

"I have it," I answered, standing up to place Alex in the crib we had set up in the front room. It was blue with red and green patches along the topsides of the crib. Reaching upward were four arms that connected in the center so that I could hang little animals from them. I sat Alex down against the side so he could see me.

"Okay! Great. Are you looking over it?"

"Mhmm." I answered, playing peek-o-boo. Alex stared at me with his mouth open before cracking a tiny smile. I wedged the phone between my cheek and shoulder, covering my face with my hands before taking them away. Alex continued to eat his fist. I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I spun around quickly, my stomach clenching together from fright.

Edward laughed at my show before kissing me on the forehead.

"…I think it's just perfect. I really like it. What do you think?" Lucy said. I cursed myself for not listening. I searched blindly for an answer before deciding to beat around the bush.

"I agree with you! Perfect for sure." I heard a sigh of relief from Lucy before she thanked me and bid a goodbye. I'm going to have to make sure to find out what she was talking about later on. I threw the phone on the couch before wrapping my arms around Edward's shoulders.

"Hey, handsome." I say seductively, smirking at him. He shakes his head at me, before slinking closer to me. I can feel the coldness from his body already.

"Bella," He whispered, bending down to brush his lips across mine. I cup his chin, yanking him down to me. He moans as my fingers scrape across his scalp, twirling around in his hair. I swipe my tongue over his bottom lip, pleading for entrance. He gives it to me after a seconds and I kiss him vigorously. Much too soon he's pulling away. I restrain my groan of frustration.

"I'm meeting up with the guys." I smile slightly.

_Tell me that you'll never leave_

"Okay, that's fine."

"You don't mind do you?" He asks, a perfect gentleman. "If you do, I can stay here and we can spend the entire day together."

I shake my head. "No, I don't mind. Go have fun. I should be here when you get back. If not I'm at the grocery store."

"Okay. I love you." He whispered, nuzzling my neck.

_And I'll just try to make believe_

"I love you too."

_That everything you tell me is true_

Edward grabs a bag from the counter before slipping out the door. I listen for the purr of his Volvo before dancing over to Alex. He slowly reaches out a hand, fingers coiling around a plastic toy truck. I sink down to my knees, folding my legs underneath me. I sigh happily, studying Alex intently. He was so dang perfect.

The clicking of high-heels sent laughter bubbling up in my throat. I didn't have to turn around to know who was standing at the entrance of the room. I could audibly hear the clanking of the contents in her purse, swooshing around as she moved. I open my mouth to let out a raspberry, gaining Alex's attention. Slobber comes pouring out of his mouth a bit as he smiles crookedly, sending my heart soaring. That smile reminded me of his Daddy. So much like his Daddy.

"Bella, I'm going out shopping!" I hear Alice chirp. I felt her arms wrap around my shoulder, pulling me in tight. I laughed lightly, getting up and rotating around to fully hug me.

"That's fine. Have fun." I told her, kissing her cheek lightly. She gazed at me keenly, as if gauging my reaction to something. My brows furrowed as I inclined my face toward her in questioning. Was something wrong? Clapping her hands together, she shook her head and left without another word.

_Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me._

The clanking of toys behind me brought me back over to Alex who was off in his own little world.

"Emmett?" I called out, climbing up the stairs to find him sitting on his bed. Rosalie was bouncing Lizzie on her lap, her back melted against his chest. His thumb was tracing squares along her belly, arms wrapped around both her and my baby. They looked absolutely adorable together.

"Yes?" He asked, turning to smile at me. Rosalie smiled at me before taking Lizzie's tiny hand and waving towards me. I opened my mouth, sighing happily before waving back.

"Could you watch Alex for me, please? I have to go pick up some things. If you don't mind." Emmett opened his mouth to say something but Rose beat him to it, glancing over at me. I swear her eyes were sparkling.

_Lie to me; it doesn't matter any more_

"Yeah, of course. Bring him in here! I love little Alex." I brought Alex up to Rosalie who bundled him into her arms, before squealing along with them. They were adorable. Rosalie was the perfect Mom; I think she might even beat me. Yeah, she definitely beat me for the #1 Mom Award!

Once Alex was taken care for, I went into my bedroom, pulling out a new dress I'd gotten on one of the many shopping trips Alice had tricked me into. The dress was sparkling silver that was a spaghetti-strap, which cut low between my breasts. The silver fabric cut off a bit higher than my knee, gold patterns embedded at the bottom. I straightened out the black strip across my ribs before doing a 360-degree turn in front of my mirror. It hugged my curves in all the right ways.

_It could never be what is was before_

Next was the necklace. My lover had given it to me. Okay, so hold up. Before you accuse me of being a horrible name, let me tell you. I'd never planned on having a lover out of my marriage. Nope not at all. How it happened was another mystery. Actually it hadn't even happened yet. The man I would be seeing today had offered me the option—had offered me the confess of his true feelings towards me. What did I do? I freaked out. Yelled, screamed, called him out on his bullshit. But he refused to let this slide. So he told me a time, date, and place. If I wanted to go on with this love affair I was to meet him. If not, I just stayed home.

_If I can't hold on to you_

I was really horrible. Taking the necklace in my hands, I remembered just how heavy it was. The necklace was elegant to say the least. The necklace was roped with diamonds, pearls, and other jewels. But it was the excessive amount of diamonds and pearls and jewels that really made the necklace. The cold metal wrapped around my neck, sparkling in the light, the exact equivalent of me wearing a flashing neon sign above my head.

_Leave me with somethin' I can hold onto_

Climbing into my car, I pushed on the gas petal. There was just one thing I had to do before going off to meet my soon-to-be-lover. The street meandered under me, taking me to my destination. The town was buzzing with life, people taking up the small amount of sidewalk. I parked the car, burrowing down so that no one would see me. Or hopefully not. My eyes searched wildly for a bit before I thought that nothing was going to happen.

Alice! I mentally screamed, finally spotting her. She was looking around, eyeing everyone as if she was doing something she shouldn't. Oh God, it was true. I knew it! I knew it! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But forced my lips shut with force. Yet it was unneeded as she walked into a tiny restaurant that seemed to be closed it was so vacant. Nothing happened for a bit then in walked Edward. He didn't look around like Alice had, instead entering the restaurant at once with a single flower in his hand.

_For just a little while won't you let me be_

No! Not just any flower. The flower Alice had made a comment about a few days ago while I was surfing the web for rare flowers. Alice had pointed to that exact one! Saying it was her favorite! Oh God, someone shoot me now. Why hadn't I gotten any damn rare flowers!?

I could see her eyes widen at him before she happily accepted the gift. Edward then leaned in and kissed her. Not a sisterly kiss, a lovers kiss. One full of love. Before my stomach could empty itself, I sped out of there with such madness I almost killed a handful of people.

_Anyone can see_

The woods were so familiar as I stepped through them, feet taking me somewhere I shouldn't be going. The trees towered over me, shadows scraping over my body as the sun shone down. The leaves rustled insistently, the sound filling my ears as nervousness filled up my entire tummy. Up ahead I could see the obvious clearing where the sun was clearly visible.

Dipping my head under a tree branch, I found myself standing in the middle of Edward's meadow. Well mine too, but not so much anymore—I don't think. There in the very middle was the last person I'd thought would ever be my lover in this warped love affair. His blonde hair shone brightly, teeth showing as he smiled wholeheartedly.

I glided over to him, my stomach doing summersaults. His arms wrapped around me, encircling me in a tight hug.

**_That you love him more than me_**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, voice full of so much love that it baffled me. I'd never heard Edward use…such a _tone_. I couldn't explain it. It was like he cared more than Edward ever had.

"I'm sure." I answered, as his hands rubbed my shoulders, pushing the straps of my dress off. His hands traveled down my arms, lips coming down to kiss my collarbone. His teeth nipped at my shoulder, tugging at the skin in a playful manner. I chuckled lightly, running my fingers through his hair. My fingers slid down to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them one at a time till his shirt was tossed to the ground.

_But right now, let me pretend_

His gold eyes stared at me with such passion; I felt my knees go weak. The goldness of his eyes darkened into a deeper butterscotch.

He brushed his lips across my forehead as his hands pushed my dress off my body, leaving it in a heap at my feet. He undid my bra, dropping it, and then stripping my underwear till I was bear in front of him. Unlike when I was with Edward, I didn't feel the need to cover up nor was I self-conscious.

**_That our love will never end_**

His finger hooked under my chin, bringing my eyes up to meet him. He pecked me, lips so soft. So very, very soft. I could kiss them for days and never tire.

_Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me_

"Jasper." I whispered as he pressed his body against mine, bringing his sweet lips down to mine.

* * *

So Bella is officially with Jasper now. Yeah, i totally had not planned Bella getting together with Jasper nor Edward getting with Alice. It just hit me a few days ago and i went with it.

So what do you think? Let me know!!!

**I'm leaving for Florida on Friday, so i'm letting you know that i won't be updating since unfortunatly i am not blessed with a laptop. But i will try to get a chapter out for Breathe You Out, Breathe You In and this story by the time i leave. Hopefully.**

Thanks to me kick-ass ninja of a Beta R.M.J Lennixx. She's awesome.

Thanks to everyone that's been reading and reviewing! Yall are awesome too!

-taylorcullenforever


	7. Believe In Dreams

I was surrounded by something wet, something unknown. Oh God. Convulsing profoundly, I startled awake. My body yanking forward so that my back was straight at a rod. I gasped for air, eyes closing and opening to get rid of the scene that had been playing behind my eyelids. Holy shit. I sit there for a second, staring all around me in search for Jasper. He's nowhere to be found and I realize it was all a dream. A really fucked up dream at that.

A hand touched my arm lightly, causing me to shriek then jump out of my skin. My ribs ached as I tried not to squirm the best I could, my lungs desperately inhaling oxygen. My head snapped over to Edward who was watching me with a concerned/shocked expression on his face. Sighing, tears pooled in my eyes as I flung myself into his awaiting arms. He brushed my oily hair back from my forehead, kissing my nose in an attempt to reassure me it was only a dream.

I was soaking wet, drenched in a thick sheet of sweat that I guess had formed while I was dreaming. The spot where my body had been was obviously a darker shade of white, giving away that I had dampened the sheets. As I gained control over myself, I slapped my cheek fully, scorning my brain to stop messing with me. For heavens sake, I didn't know if I could take another dream like that. Edward blanched at me blunt action.

It had been so vivid, so real, as if it really had happened. Yet, Edward was here beside me, voicing his love for me through his touches. Jasper was no where to be found and I wanted it to stay that way. God, what if Edward had gone for Alice instead of me? Just that thought sent my heart into odd palpitations. The stress I felt in the atmosphere was suffocating me, pressing down on my shoulders a bit too forcefully.

Edward coiled his arms around my waist fully, crushing me to him. I tried to melt myself against him, as we rocked back and forth silently. He didn't say anything and neither did I. No way in hell was I going to tell him I had just had sex with Jasper in my dream while he was off screwing Alice with her freaking rare ass flower. Jealously took over then, causing my face to flame red-hot. I huffed at myself, trying to get myself to realize I was getting all emotion over nothing.

Straddling him, I glued my face into the crook of his neck. Inhaling his addictive scent. I felt Edward's hands push up my shirt, pulling it over my head as I pulled back from him. I stared deep into his eyes, questioning him as to what he was doing. As an answer, his fingers clutched my face, lips pouting at me till they were moving against my own. A wave of heat settled in-between my legs as I realized what he getting at.

Discarding my underwear, along with his shirt and boxers, Edward slid himself into me.

(((((((((((((((((((((((

"You're getting so big!" I said, twirling Alex in my arms. He was looking around, eyes never fully on my face. Alice was on the couch, Lizzie in hand as she fed her. Alex was not going to look at me so I sat down next to Alice, letting my head thump against her shoulder. With one hand she chaffed my arm, kissing my hair. Lizzie was staring at me now as I blew a kiss her way. She smiled lightly around the nipple of the bottle.

"It was my turn, you know." Rosalie huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She was upset, upset enough that even Emmett couldn't get her to cheer up. I kissed Alex's forehead before passing him to her, once she had him tucked away in her arms all the world was at peace.

"Hmm." I said, lying back to enjoy this moment of having to do absolutely nothing. No diaper changing, no feeding, no washing clothes, no nothing. Just relaxing.

"You tired?" Alice asks, maneuvering the bottle around for Lizzie. I watch them carefully, eyes dropping instantly as my thoughts float around in an endless loop.

"You have no idea." I say, laughing and yawning at the same time. I close my eyes, but not before moving to the other couch. Spreading out my legs, I tuck my hands under my chin, hoping to catch some needed sleep before Lizzie or Alex needed me. Spending most nights awake with your kids just sucks all the life out of you.

When I awoke, it was dark outside. The curtains drawn shut but the centerline showing a bit of the black night sky. I yawned, stretching stiffly. I should have gotten in bed. Scrunching my eyes closed as I moved around my joints, someone said my name. My eyes snapped open and I found Jasper sitting on the couch across from me. He wasn't smiling but searching for something in my face.

All I could think about were the things I had done with him at Edward's meadow. Oh God, the shame was too much. I felt my face heat up just as Jasper's eyes widened. I stumbled a bit, at a loss of what to say. He shook his head slightly before getting up and walking over to me. I stiffened, hoping he wouldn't do anything wrong—as in _wrong_, _wrong_.

Jasper helped me up from the couch before embracing me quickly and leaving me with a kiss to the cheek. That was certaintly weird.

* * *

Okay, so it was ALL A DREAM! I'm hoping that after reading this no one longer "hates it". Yeah, i wouldn't do that to you. :D

Review to let me know you no longer hate it--that goes for all the people who reviewed voicing their opinions. You guys were honest, thanks for that.

-taylorcullenforever

SUPER HUGE thanks to my Beta R.M.J Lennixx. *hugs and kisses*

And yes, i know this chapter is short. The next one should be longer.


	8. Authors Note

**Hey Everyone!**

**I know I haven't updated in a while but I have decided to re-write the entire story.**

**I will upload the new chapters when I have five done. **

**-taylorcullenforever**


	9. The End

Hi, Everyone.

I Am Done Writing Fanfiction Stories Or Beta(ing). For Good.

I Found What I Was Looking For.

**I'm In Love.**

So I'm Giving Up Fanfiction.

It Was Great While It Lasted.

Bye

:)

-Taylor


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